We’ve all had those instances where we meet someone online and we talk to them for days and days, but when it comes time to meet in person one of two things happen: the timing never works so you ultimately stop talking because what’s the point if you’ll never meet. Or you meet up and find that you have nothing to talk about. Suddenly, all of the things you discussed online stay online and you can’t find anything to talk about when you’re face to face. There is always an outlier who meets their virtual knight in shining armor and the two naturally transition into a blossoming relationship. The “dating apps” as they are called by our predecessors, like Tinder and Bumble and whatever else millennials use to meet new people in their area are what’s ruining dating. Why is it so hard to make the transition from online to in person? Why is the guy I’m talking to perfect via Tinder, but never wants to meet up? Why does he swipe right when I’m a picture on his phone, but doesn’t notice that I’m in his class? Does he even like me or does he just want to ‘get some’? Just to clarify these aren’t my personal questions, but they most likely are your questions.
How can you be so sure that the guy I’m talking to isn’t a psychopath? I mean if you’re using the app at school, with a 2-7 mile radius, hopefully if he is a murderer he isn’t enrolled in your college. But odds are if you match and he’s on the baseball team or you recognize him from class, he probably won’t want to kill you. Once you exceed the radius of your campus, the townies might try and make a coat out of your skin, but that’s a whole nother story . So you can cross murderer off your list. However, the fact that you have to ask yourself, “am I going to die if I meet up with this guy” isn’t comforting.
He might just be a jerk that likes to string girls along and then ghost them, or drop off the face of the earth without warning. That’s his prerogative. Now you won’t know by looking at him that he is a jerk, but proceed with caution. The jerks will always be there, the hit and quit type, but let’s face it, 90% of the people on Tinder aren’t trying to find a partner or someone to start a relationship with. So here is my question, why aren’t millennials using dating apps for dating? Why is it that I can’t go on to Tinder, swipe right on a guy and expect him to want to go to the movies and grab a bite to eat, end of story. Why did a dating app become a one-night stand app?
I don’t know what has happened to our culture, but finding a boyfriend has never been so hard. They say that you have to wait for the right one to come along, blah blah blah, but how long am I supposed to wait. Every guy I meet wants one thing. You can guess what that is. So while I’m over here not even looking for prince charming, just looking for someone worth my time, I can’t find them because millennials don’t know how to use dating apps. Correct me if I’m wrong, but dating apps are for….DATING. Gone are the days of finding roses at your doorstep or even being asked out on a date. I mean lets be real, Netflix and chill, not a date. Going to a party, not a date (unless it’s a date party, but that’s also kind of blurry). Dining hall dinner, most certainly not a date. So what gives! I don’t know if my standards are too high or I’m living in the 50’s, but dates aren’t real and relationships are few and far between. We are given the tools to reach out to people we might normally night come in contact with. Yet, we use technology to have one night stands instead of fostering real, passionate relationships.
Maybe it’s because I’m in college and everything is different inside the collegiate bubble, but it’d be cool to live in a world where Tinder dates weren’t looked down upon, because that’s the purpose of the app. I digress.
So the next time you start talking to a guy on Tinder, well first make sure he isn’t trying to make a coat out of your skin, but then use the app for its purpose, go on a Tinder date and tell your friends to stop judging you for it!